A woman and her husband had been trying to get pregnant for four years without success. Then, by a miracle, she found out she was pregnant with quadruplets.
It was a Valentine’s surprise like no other, and the woman, Kayla, posted the most adorable photos on Facebook, proudly boasting that she had FIVE Valentines.
“God gave us a baby for every year of infertility that we experienced,” she wrote. “He blessed us exceedingly, abundantly above all we could ask or think. They’re growing and doing so well.”
However, months later, what Kayla thought would be her biggest miracle turned into her worst nightmare when she lost three of the four precious babies the Lord had blessed her with. She was totally heartbroken, and pain like she had never experienced shot through every square inch of her mind, body, and soul.
Like many of us do in tragedies, it was in this moment that Kayla cried, “Why God, WHY?!”…but unlike most, she had the courage to trust that this painful loss was for her good and His glory.
“It just wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. I am looking at three dead babies. How is this God’s plan?” she wrote in a Facebook post. “I don’t know, but I know it is, and I trust in it,” she continued. “He knows better than I and He has greater plans for me than I could ever imagine. I know He is good, and I know He is faithful. I’m happy my babies are with Him and that I will see them again one day.”
Read Kayla’s heartbreakingly beautiful “roller coaster ride” from grief to the celebration of their ‘little miracle that made it’ below:
Our roller coaster ride…
Man. Where do I start? The last 2 weeks and 3 days have been an insane roller coaster ride. I literally can’t put into words all the emotions I have felt and continue to feel each and every day. I have never in my life felt this kind of pain. Pain that seems like it will never go away. It is excruciating! I wouldn’t wish this kind of pain on my worst enemy.
I was admitted to hospital on a Thursday night to start my hospital bedrest. I assumed I would be in the hospital for several weeks, maybe even months, while I awaited the arrival of my sweet babies. I was 24 weeks and 4 days pregnant with quadruplets, so I knew it was the best place for me to be. That night/early morning, I started having contractions. They started out being around 20 minutes or so apart and not too painful. I was handling it well. I didn’t wake Kenny up, and I didn’t tell the nurse until hours later. I was just trying to be tough, I guess. The nurse came in, and I finally told her I was having contractions.
I already had the monitor on, so she was watching closely and told me to let her know if they got worse. I couldn’t sleep, so I turned on the tv and watched ESPN for awhile. Kenny woke up, and I told him how bad the contractions were and how bad I was hurting. He told me I needed to let the nurse know. I waited a little while and the doctor came in, so I told her how bad they were, and she immediately wanted to check the monitor and see what was going on. I guess the monitor wasn’t picking them up like I was feeling them, so they moved it around a little to try and see exactly what was going on. My contractions slowed down after a while.
Two days later I was even more dilated, and they were very concerned. They sent me back to my room and put me on magnesium drip. The contractions were still there and were only a minute or 2 apart, so I was in a lot of pain. The doctor came in a little later and checked me again. At this point, she said she could feel Lexi’s head and that I was even more dilated and needed to be taken for an emergency c-section right away. I was freaking out! I was crying hysterically. I didn’t want to have a c-section this early. I kept saying, “No. It’s too early. My babies aren’t ready!” But unfortunately, my body was.
They made me drink this stuff and started rolling me to the OR. Kenny walked with me as long as he could and then hugged me, kissed me, and told me he loved me and would be there as soon as I woke up. When I got to the room, I was still sobbing. I was in pain, and I was scared to death. I kept telling everyone in that room, “Please take care of my babies.” They told me they would try their very best. Next thing I know, I’m out and waking up to Kenny’s voice letting me know he’s right there, and that he told me he would be right there when I woke up. I kept asking him, “Are the babies okay? Where are the babies?”
He wouldn’t tell me much. All I remember him saying was, “We will see them later, okay, babe.” I was so out of it that I kept falling asleep. I fell asleep again and woke up later in my room. I was awake this time, and I asked Kenny again, “Where are the babies, Kenny? Are they ok?!?” He looked at me and held my hand and told me the girls didn’t make it but that the boys were OK and in the NICU. I lost it! I cried and cried and couldn’t believe it. I was truly in shock. I am still in shock. I sobbed in front of him and my father. They were the only two in the room. I talked about how I just ordered their bedding and all their nursery decor. I sobbed talking about all the stuff we had for them and how we were so ready for them. I kept saying, “I’m so sorry, my angels. I’m so sorry.” My girls were under 1 pound, so they weren’t able to get a breathing tube in them.
The next day I remember having family there and Kenny taking me to the NICU to see Elijah and Brock. They were so perfect! I fell even more in love with them after seeing them. Then we went back to the room to rest and spend time with family. All of a sudden, my nurse comes in the door and tells me that we need to get to the NICU immediately. We got to the NICU, and we were told that Brock had coded, and they were trying to bring him back. We watched as they performed CPR on my sweet Brock and tried tirelessly to bring him back. It was the most traumatic thing I’ve ever seen in my life. Blood began to fill his lungs, and the doctor told us there was nothing more she could do. We were then asked if we wanted to hold our baby as he took his last breaths. We both held him and sobbed as we felt helpless because we couldn’t save him.
I sobbed and wished it was me who died instead of them. It just wasn’t fair. It wasn’t right. I am looking at three dead babies. How is this God’s plan? I don’t know, but I know it is, and I trust in it. He knows better than I and He has greater plans for me than I could ever imagine. I know He is good, and I know He is faithful. I’m happy that my babies are with Him and that I will see them again one day.
We planned the service for our other 3 babies, and it was one of the hardest things we have ever done. It was so tough on both of us, but we did it. The service was absolutely beautiful for my three angels, and it couldn’t have been more perfect. Kenny and I cried hard and needed that closure. It was good for us. We miss them every day, and I think about them nonstop.
It’s going to be a hard road, but I know God’s got us. He has a plan, and we trust in it. We believe Elijah is going to pull through this and have such a powerful testimony. We believe the Lord is going to use our story to help reach others. We believe that good will come out of losing our sweet babies.
We love you all so much! Please continue to pray for us and for little Elijah. He is a fighter. He is such a blessing to us. We will forever miss Lexi, Kinsley, and Brock, and our hearts will never be the same. I literally miss them so much that it hurts. We never expected to lose one baby, so losing three has taken its toll on us. We are still very much in shock. We love you forever and always, sweet babies. Until we meet again.
Love, Mom and Dad.
Share Kayla’s story of unimaginable grief, hope, and faith with the ones you love today.